“I’m Pretty Supportive But That’s Like A Full-Time Job.” Heroes GM or Bust!

Welcome to Bearrorism, where I’ll be trying to reach Grandmaster status in Heroes of the Storm…in solo queue.  First, let’s go through all the reasons I’ll fail.

What does your average Heroes Grandmaster look like?  You probably just pictured an unemployed guy in his early 20s who survives on Mountain Dew and Doritos.  He does nothing but play Heroes and eat.  I’m not sure when an all-Doritos diet will start catching up with him, but it’s definitely past 30 and there’s no way he thinks that far ahead.  You might also have said Korean, but if that’s true, he might actually be pro, and therefore is not an average Heroes Grandmaster.

I, on the other hand, am 33, probably about a platinum-level player, and work more or less full-time.  Also I go to the gym three times a week with varying degrees of success , and I’m writing an eight-part miniseries on two crazy rec league soccer owners who will do anything to win, of which 5 1/3 out of eight episodes are done.  Add to that the fact that I’m studying for a certification and read 20-30 minutes a day, and it seems like I’ve got a tough road to hoe.  Luckily, I won’t have any kids, girlfriends, or debts holding me back.

So what’s my approach?

First, I’m going to do 30 unranked drafts just to get used to the format and spot trends.  Thirty is just a number I pulled out of thin air because I vaguely remember reading that after thirty, you have statistically significant results.  Please don’t email me ab0ut how that’s wrong.  You’re too late to change me.

Next is my trusty speadsheet of hero counters.  For every hero, I listed the top thirteen counters according to heroescounters.com.  In reality, I probably only needed to list eleven, given that there are two bans and a pick made before any counter picks are possible.  But again, the die is cast.  For first picks, it’ll either be a true tank or an assassin, as I think everyone else is too easily countered.  For example, even though the Lost Vikings win a godly 61.6% of the team in Master/Diamond league on Hotslogs, I wouldn’t pick them first under any circumstances.  That’s when you wind up facing Zeratul, Tracer, and Xul and the salt begins to flow.

So to sum up: first pick will be either a true tank (as opposed to a bruiser) or an assassin, preferably Falstad, since he will likely escape a ban in favor of Kerrigan, Kael’thas, or Li Ming.  You could also go for a healer there, but I think that in solo queue playing support is basically hoping that someone else will win it for you.  That said, I’ll play whatever role the team needs.

PS: Random thought on specialists: what’s the point of them these days?  If you’re going to team fight, wouldn’t you prefer an assassin?  And if you’re not, doesn’t that mean split pushing?  According to Grubby’s stream, we’re in a wave-clear meta right now, but I don’t know how that would manifest itself without split pushing.  And (for example) can’t Greymane in wolf form (for example) clear waves just as fast as Xul or Sylvanas?  I wouldn’t want to do that if I were being shot at, but I wouldn’t want to stand in there as Xul either.  Then again, Grubby knows a lot more than me.  So there’s only one way to find out.

PPS: The title is what my brother said when I told him about doing this blog.  When he plays, he’s aggressive to a fault.

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